It's A Start!

Today, Eva and I worked on our workout room. Well, it was mostly Eva. I felt so tired and just bogged down. I don't know if it was the allergy pill I had to take or if this general feeling of worthlessness is now engrained? Either way, I did the easy stuff; folded laundry, organized various bags and boxes Eva sent my way. 

January 1st if fast approaching. We won't have our videos or shakes yet, but we plan on at least renting a yoga or Pilates video. I have Zumba, but Eva says she's not interested. Maybe I'll try it by myself and get in some cardio. I'm pretty excited for the life change. Well, maybe excited is the wrong word...I'm...I'm...apprehensive and kinda in mourning. Is that what I'm trying to say? 

I've been trying to make my peace with potatoes and white rice. I can live without the sweets. Sweets have never really been my downfall. I just LOVE to eat and it takes a lot to fill me up! Dammit! It's always been that way. I dunno. My dad counts calories and stresses to me I can have what I want as long as I count the calories..so, maybe there will be room in there for me to sometimes have a potato and some rice. Not at the same time of course. That would be too delicious! haha. 

I thought I should add this today since I forgot about it yesterday...I was doing weight watchers there for about 2 weeks and lost like 10 pounds. When I started, I was 278, I believe...and when I got down to 270, I panicked. The thought of going into the 260's just scared the shit outta me. I don't know why. So, I totally sabotaged myself and went off the plan. I was doing so well and I felt GREAT! The point system really worked for me. I LOVED it. And, like I said, I was doing so well. So, why would that freak me out? I mean...it took me about a week of freaking out to go back on and lose the additional 2 pounds...It was like I had to take some time and wrap my mind around it. Gah! I guess I just won't weigh myself every dang minute. LOL. Once a week. I'll try to stick to that. Maybe that'll help with the not flipping shit over stupid stuff like that. Gees. 

I'm looking forward to new beginnings and holding myself accountable. 

Oh, and I have to get a job. Blah.